This Is How It Always Is – Laurie Frankel (2017)
Rosie and Penn always wanted a daughter. Four sons later, they decide to try one last time – and their beautiful little boy Claude is born. Life continues happily for this big, loving family until the day when Claude says that, when he grows up, he wants to be a girl.
As far as Rosie and Penn are concerned, bright, funny and wonderful Claude can be whoever he or she wants. But as problems begin at school and in the community, the family faces a seemingly impossible dilemma: should Claude change, or should they and Claude try to change the world?
My Review of This Is How It Always Is
(4 / 5)
I jumped on the bandwagon for Reece Witherspoon’s book club pick this month. With its controversial and fascinating storyline I couldn’t resist! I listened to the audio version.
When Rosie and Penn have their fifth son, It seemed like that was it for Rosie’s dream of a daughter. But as Claude starts to grow, the whole family begin to realise that there is something different about their youngest son and brother. At first they assume Claude acting like a girl and wearing dresses is just a phase, but gradually they begin to realise that although Claude was born male, he is not actually male at all. Claude becomes “Poppy” and is living a wonderful life in a new town with new friends. However the secret that the whole family keeps suddenly bring them all crashing down.
I really did enjoy this story. It is an important subject that continuous to polarise people and I feel it’s so important to shine a light on it!
Although I found the story slightly slow to get moving, it soon picked up and I began to become emotionally invested in this family and dear Poppy.
The struggles of the parents were palpable at times. I have two young children and could relate with their desire to allow their child to live their authentic self while at the same time being torn between social norms. It often made me reflect. Just yesterday while shopping I discouraged my son from choosing purple glittery running shoes and encouraged him to pick the ones that were less ‘girly’ and I had a moment where I reflected on this book and reminded myself of how ingrained social norms are. Why couldn’t he wear the glittery shoes?
When he came home from daycare and announced he didn’t get his nails painted today because “only girls get their nails painted” I was a bit taken back. Already, only 4 years old and conforming to social ‘norms’. I know how much he adores having his nails painted.
A Facebook post in a community group recently had my friends and I fuming after an irate father got angry at his wife for allowing their son to get his nails painted because it would “encourage gay behaviour”. People still believe this shit. Even though we live in the most accepting time, there is still bigotry.
That is why Poppy’s story is so important. Whether or not it changes people’s views on the subject, it is at least bringing it out in the open to be discussed.
I was torn at times with the story. Although I enjoyed reading about the family, I found their utter acceptance seemed a bit unrealistic to me at times. Of course they struggled with their child being transgender, but it just felt like everything was wrapped up in a convenient, accepting little package.
I found it a little too wordy at times too. A lot of “word fluff” that sounded pretentious at times and grated on my nerves.
What I really enjoyed were the medical aspects to the novel. Especially when Rosie was working in Thailand. It was so fascinating and well researched. Years ago in my training as a surgical nurse I assisted with some gender reassignment procedures, and the small amount of information included about the surgical aspects were spot on.
Did I enjoy the audio version?
Yes I enjoyed the narrator and her depictions of all the characters. She had a different voice for each character and I didn’t mind her male voices! Great choice of narrator!
Would I recommend This Is How It Always Is?
Absolutely. Overall it was a great read and highlighted many important social issues. Highly enjoyable for anyone interested in the subject matter.
I purchased This Is How It Always Is at my own expense at audible.com
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